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Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Draft 2 What I need to work on next: Carefully choose words and phrases to add information and/or interest.

Name Sheyahni.
On a hot sunny Saturday my family and I had a swim in our huge pool. First my family and I got up and had rice bubbles for breakfast. Next my family and I  went to put our togs on. Then we went to go unlock the gate with our key. After that we went to jump into the pool. Then I tried to do a bomb but I back slapped and everyone started to laugh and I started to cry because it heat so bad that I did a back slapped in our pool. The next day when we went for another swim Laviniah backed slapped to and we all started to laugh because she backed slapped. Finally we went to get changed and go to get some lunch for us we had chinese for lunch and Mcdonalds for dinner. That was the best day I ever had.